Sanitaryum | Clean Funny Pics & Clean Humor

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with the old rancher. “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

“Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.”

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

“See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land! No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?”

The rancher nodded politely. “I’m sorry,” and with that he went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams. He looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life with the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull in hot pursuit. The bull was gaining ground on the officer with every step and it seemed just a matter of a few more steps before the officer would be gored.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs: “Your badge! Show him your BADGE!!”

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had.

I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone.

“Fine,” I said. “I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn’t have?”

“It wasn’t a boy,” came the reply.