June 2011
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Joke: Execution Time
In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.
The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens — he declares that he’s been saved by divine intervention— so he’s let go .
The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn’t release the blade, he claims he can’t be executed twice...
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Joke: The Irishman Quits Drinking
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I...
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Two Engineer Jokes
How to understand the engineer in your life.
1.
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
2.
A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed,...
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Meet a Black Person
Instant street cred. Get some.
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The Evolution of Mom
The Evolution of Mom
The following appeared in the February 1998 issue of Parenting.
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with
each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child
differs from having your first:
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
confirms your...
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Do You Know Who I Am?
As reported by the San Jose Mercury News:
During the final days at Denver’s old Stapleton airport, a crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be first class.”...
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You Don't Know Crap, Congressman
A congressman was seated in first class next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t...
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Lebron "Loss of the Ring"
Why didn’t Lebron go to college?
He didn’t want to show up for the finals.
- Source: Lucas L.
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Nacho or Sodium Acetate? Science WIN!
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